Piercing the Heart

This is long, but I think its really cool, so bear with me if you are so brave...

I have been a fan of piercings for a long time. I have often pondered the possibility of getting plugs myself though I have always backed away because of the things standing in my way....my job and parents' opinion's mainly. Well, God seemed to remove those hindrances recently, making the possibility more real than ever. With the decision to go for it standing in front of me, God prompted me through my dad to really look at my heart and search why I wanted to get them. I was blown away at how God would take a simple piercing and use it to expose and purify places in my heart that i didn't even know existed.

One night, as I was cleaning for a couple hours, I talked with God about all the heart motivations for getting my ears pierced. I had heard many of the arguements before pushing both sides of the issue....things like it affecting my future jobs, etc. Often I had just assumed it would be safer to just flow with the voice of reason from my parents or others. But this time I realized that my decision EITHER WAY needed to be based on tested and pure motivations. My ultimate decision (though important and what I was most concerned with at the start) wasn't the ultimate issue. God was after my heart. So I asked what was going on inside of me and started talking to God about it. Here's the gist of our conversation:

First Motivation: Establishing My Identity/Affecting People's Opinions
Aka: vanity / insecurity / fear of man / being shallow

Obviously this motivation wasn't a good one. BUT I REALIZED THIS MOTIVATION PLAYED BOTH PRO AND CON SIDE IN MY HEART! I could want people to see me outside the stereotypical "church kid" box and therefore get plugs....either for the acceptance of one crowd or the rejection of the "church" crowd. Or I could be afraid of some people's opinion and NOT get plugs so people wouldn't form negative opinions about me. Either way, my heart was looking to people for acceptance and approval and identity...instead of to God (ie sin).

Second Motivation: ing off the religious folk.
Aka: rebellion / anger / resentment

The idea that some conservative people would judge me for having my ears pierced and make assumptions based on that fact alone made me angry. I was offended at that and clearly saw that was wrong. A part of my heart wanted to get my ears pierced just to provoke that sort of thing so people would have to deal with it. Here would be someone who is pursuing Jesus and in love with Him AND had his ears pierced. HA! Put that in your pipe and smoke it! Clearly this is resentful, rebellious, and angry. I knew some of this was sinful so obviously I need to deal with that. But part of it I could justify: in a sense I was fighting injust prejudices. This could seem slightly noble. Strip away the anger and rebellion and you get a seemingly "noble" cause of exposing sinful attitudes and helping remove religious barriers in people's minds. That is the next nugget of truth God showed me:

Third Motivation: the glory of God?
aka: trying to make Jesus look as good as He really is / getting others in on His truth.

I had to ask myself honestly, what decision would glorify God most. To stir up hidden prejudices and help alter them seems like a good thing. Also to get my ears pierced, could open other's hearts to listen to my life more closely. The piercings could help tear down already established resistance/prejudice toward the stereotypical western church. But ultimately the question came down to: HOW CAN I GET AS CLOSE AS I CAN TO PEOPLES HEARTS SO I CAN FREELY SHARE GOD'S TRUTH AND LOVE WITH THEM? In some circles, piercings might help...as I stated above. In other more conservative circles, it might turn people away who need to hear something God has layed on my heart. Either way, I saw that this kind of love for God's glory and love for people wasn't central in my heart. I wanted piercings mostly for my own benefit (ie motivation #1/#2).

God showed me the answer wasn't so much in some external rule, but in the motivation of my heart. I want my life to impact the hearts and minds God has destined me to meet and love. I want to remove as many hindrances as I can and add on as many aids to open peoples hearts wide to the good news God is telling through my life in Him.

So really my piercings dont have anything to do with me, but everything to do with God's agenda and the benefit of other's. So I don't know what my decision will be. lol. That depends on what God shows me will be most advantageous to His kingdom. In the meantime though, I have a lot of motivation 1 and 2 to chew on and wrestle with. But I am truly honored and feel really loved that God would let something so small and trite burn away more of my impurities and bring out his heart of gold.

"...because the Lord disciplines those he loves..." Hebrews 12:6